Communicating with Your Spouse about Money

Valentine’s Day--Today’s WORD on Money™: Communicating with Your Spouse about Money

Money and finances are said to be the #1 topic of argument in many Christian marriages. Money is most often cited as the biggest factor causing divorce. Jesus said in Matthew 19 that humans should not separate what God has united. Now for those of you who have experienced divorce, this lesson is not meant to condemn you. But it is my prayer that this information will help all of you to have a more Godly marriage from now on.

Our firm does workshops and retreats to help couples understand how each spouse views money. For example, some people have a scarcity mentality, others have an affluence mentality. Some see money as status, others see it as security. Also, many couples don’t understand how to communicate in words that their spouse understands. One spouse may be very abstract and the other very concrete, for instance. (Yes, Virginia, opposites do attract. . . .)

Then there are even various issues within the larger topic of money: maybe the couple’s cash flow is fine, but they plan poorly for their tax payments. Or maybe they have done a good job at staying out of debt, but they haven’t made provisions for their children’s education costs.

I think now you may see that there can be so many variables involved in these issues, that communication can be very difficult. At this point, couples must remember Ephesians 4:15 and “speak the truth in love” to each other.

Martin Luther said, “Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let the husband make the wife sorry to see him leave.”

What wife would not love to have a husband like the one described in Ephesians 5:25? 1 God created men and women to be equal. To the extent women have not been treated equally, I agree with the Women’s Movement. But men, if we would step up and love women like Christ loved the church, I think we would remove most of the fuel that fires radical women’s rights groups today. For that matter, our demonstrating true Christian love would remove the fuel from many other “rights” groups also.

I pray that today each of us will redouble our commitment to love and honor our spouse.




1 “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.” (Ephesians 5:26-27, NLT)